Questions to Ask Yourself

At this point, hopefully both you and your partner are investigating this lifestyle together and if you are, then you have probably done a good deal of talking about the pros and cons of this exotic lifestyle you are contemplating. Now is the time for each of you to ask yourself certain questions with regard to your own relationship and your own individual feelings. We don’t have all the questions, just as we don’t have all the answers – each person and each couple has to decide for themselves whether swinging is right for them or not. Remember, there is no right or wrong answer to any of these, it’s what is right for you as an individual and as a couple.

However, we do have some questions that we asked ourselves and other, as well as the questions other beginners have asked us, so this is a starting point. Answer these questions honestly. Don’t try to fudge the answers. You are answering these for you, no one else. If you fudge, it will come back at you later, with a magnified impact.

  • Do you truly understand that love and sex can be two different things?
  • How are you going to feel when you see your partner, obtaining sexual satisfaction with another person?
  • If you were assured of retaining your partner’s love and respect, would you be interested in sexual variety?
  • If you are considering swinging, are you doing it to please yourself, or is to to please your partner?
  • How do you feel about female bisexuality?
  • How do your feel about male bisexuality?
    (There is a VERY small percentable of male bisexuals in swinging and you should at least discuss the topic.)
  • What fantasies do you have and how would you like to go about fulfilling them?
  • Can we fulfill your fantasies together?
  • How about mine?
  • Can we be totally, brutally honest with each other about everything?
  • Can you and are you willing to be honest with your partner?
  • Can you both talk about your honest feelings?
  • Are you ready to accept an honest answer to your question – even if it’s not the answer you wanted to expected to hear?
  • Are we ready to be completely committed to each other?
  • Can you be ready to “come to the aid” of your partner or keep your partner’s well being and feelings foremost in your thoughts (check on your mate periodically – “Are you OK, Having fun, etc.”) during your party experiences? Without getting “totally carried away” or oblivious to what’s happening in all parts of the partyhouse?
  • Can you stop in the middle of a sexual experience, if your partner really needs you?
  • Can you honestly tell your partner you love them after you watch them engage in sexual activities with another person?

For more info on how to get into swinging and what to expect, you will soon be able to order my totally updated revision of Swinging 101: A Beginner’s Guide to Recreational Sex (available soon)
–  email me….Honey