Swinging, the Basics

One of the things people don’t always think about in the swinging lifestyle is the idea that the basic rules of etiquette and manners still apply and may well be MORE important than in mainstream society. Getting caught up in the sexual aspect is not wrong, but you still need to try to remember some of the standard social ‘rituals’ we all live by.

When you meet a new couple, if you are interested, it is great to say so – as long as you don’t put pressure on them to get with you immediately. Give them the opportunity to say “Yes” or “No” or “Not tonight, but how about next Friday?”

After you’ve been with the new couple, it is nice to tell them you enjoyed yourselves. It is even nicer to call them sometime over the next few days or drop them a card, telling them again how much you enjoyed meeting and getting with them. Getting just a bit of feedback makes everyone feel special and appreciated!

If a couple invites you out – maybe out to dinner, to a club, to party with them or to a party and you can’t be certain whether you can attend or not, try to let them know as soon as possible. If it’s going out, they might like to make other plans for that evening and if you are invited to a party, your hosts need to know how many to plan for.

If you plan to visit friends out of town, overnight or for the weekend, try to let them know as far in advance as possible so that they can be certain there are no previous plans or commitments. Don’t assume they can have you stay with them one particular weekend just be cause YOU are ready to go visit. Also, be sure to clean up after yourselves and to help with any party or dinner preparations. Be sure to thank your hosts for the visit and, if possible, either plan to take them out to eat or take along a small “hostess” gift for their home. Afterwards, you might want to send a follow-up thank you note.

If you will follow these basic rules and some we probably haven’t thought of, you and your friends will get along a lot better and have a more wonderful friendship. Just because you have sex with someone doesn’t mean you can forget to be polite. Try treating your friends as great as you would want them to treat you!

Hugs.. Honey